The alarm rings. It’s 6 am and my “Weather” App advises me it’s a nippy 44• F outside. Fall has officially arrived and the child vs. parent wardrobe drama begins.
The temperature seemed to shift overnight and now my mind is scrambling on how to dress the kids for school. Will it be too warm for sweats come 3pm? Will last year’s sweater still fit?
I take a mental inventory of my son’s wardrobe and know that I have to make a decision quickly. If he gets up before I lay out the new set of clothes, I’d better prepare for a morning battle, à la “Clash of Clans”.
You see, if I left the wardrobe choices up to him, he’d wear shorts all year long. In his mind, only 2″ or more of snow would warrant full, protective covering.
This is an area where my boys and I could not be any more different. I’m always cold and welcome sweat pants and sweatshirts with open arms. Both boys shun pajamas and blankets.
I’ve joked many times that I’m not built for the cold weather. That my Puerto Rican genes crave sunshine and warmth (and ice cream ironically). But if that’s the case…how do I explain my kids?
This is an area I believe nurture over nature comes into play. Growing up, my Mom instilled the fear of God in us when it came to bundling up and protecting ourselves from the cold. She shared countless stories of “people” who’d gone outside without hats or coats, caught a cold and then dropped dead the next day from a “patatu”. I have pictures of me as a 2 year old in an “I’ve fallen and can’t get up” pose due to the large, restrictive one piece snow suit I was subjected to. All par for the course.
Dressing my baby in multiple layers therefore was a sign of good parenting. Bring on the onesie, the shirt, the sweater and Sherpa coat!
However this strategy was challenged by the preschool teacher who shared that it took her 10 minutes to get my child ready for outdoor play one day. “He sweats a ton in those clothes” she shared. “Keep it simple Mom.” With a professional now advising me to re-evaluate the way I had operated up until then, I decided to back off a bit from the layers.
My baby was happier, as was the teacher. The grandparents on the other hand were up in arms. They lectured about the need for hats, scarves and extra layers to protect from the wind. Admittedly, I think this “advice” only fueled my desire to defy “Puerto Rican law”!
As my son grew older and developed his own voice, he didn’t hold back on opinions of his outfits and requested less and less layers. His argument was only strengthened when he began school and most of his classmates were comfortably wearing shorts in October while he had on a puffer coat. Some days I’d second guess myself and reach out to my warm blooded friends for reassurance. Sure enough, they’d share that not only was I dressing him appropriately but I should pack an extra hat, just in case.
One day while dropping him off at school, I watched him as he walked half way up the hill to the front entrance. He suddenly stopped and with an exasperated look on his face, pulled off his jacket and stuffed it in his back pack. What?!!! This Latina Mama Bear wanted to run out of my car and charge him, but in that exact moment a classmate ran up alongside him. This child was wearing a light long sleeve shirt and yes, you guessed it, shorts. I drove off pensively.
When I asked him about it later on, he calmly shared he felt hot and uncomfortable. Fair enough. Could I really argue with that? So I backed off even more, giving him greater reign over what to wear.
But as I’ve gotten older, and colder to be honest, I’m questioning whether I’ve gone too far. Am I turning my back on years of generational wisdom to bundle up, by giving in to this idea of “wear whatever makes you feel comfortable”?
So on this particular 44• morning I decided I needed to lay some ground rules for dress code and eliminate the potential for future drama. You’d think I was drafting a constitutional bill. The compromise- no shorts if temps were under 60 degrees, long sleeve shirts kick in if max temps are in the 50s or lower. Sweaters were acceptable outer coverings until 55 degrees at which a jacket was mandatory. Caps were required if temps hit the 60s and a beanie would be warranted in the 40s. Oy vey!
Never in a gazillion years would this conversation have taken place with my mom growing up. It would never have even crossed her mind. Yet here I am devoting hours to the topic all in the name of respecting my child’s individual needs.
So what do you think mamas? Is it Sherpa or shorts this fall? Should kids have a say in what they wear or is this a “my way or the highway” scenario?
Look forward to hearing your thoughts!
